Another time that makes you ask why?

On August 12 2001 something happened that changed my life forever. My best friend, Nace, my hero, idol, my reason for painting, was killed in a car accident due to a drunk driver. A straight edge drug free person was killed by a drunk fucking asshole. This made me question everything in life, the reason for living, the laws of karma, right and wrong, and lead me on a downward drug spiral that almost killed me. Well did three times but was brought back to life for some reason. 

Not to long after my Kansas City Homeboy and VSB crew member Tues was killed in another car accident.

July 13 2009, my second Mayhem Brother was killed. Sace was someone that had the world by the balls, but like me an addiction had him by the balls. I knew what he was going threw and knew the incurable suffering of addiction and the path of destruction left at its foot steps that affects the addict, their family's, and their friends.

Later that summer in August, another friend, Oil, Crude Oil, Oiler, the head of my new crew WGE passed away. I had known him for years and had known of him for years, but had just started to really start spending serious time with him. I could tell we were cut from the same fucked up cloth. I'm proud to say I am the last person he actually put down in the crew which is now well on its way to straight killing shit for real.

I spent a lot of time cleaning myself up. I figured if I have survived what I have survived, I was put here for a reason. I stopped doing the daily madness that is the life of a hardcore drug addicted and got my shit together. I have had problems with my best friends, problems with crews, and just took time to be alone, paint, and get clean and where I needed to be.

Then in 2011 I met someone who helped me really get my shit together. I realized it was time to not only get my shit together in a big way, but come back out in the biggest way ever. She knows who she is and I thank you. Big things are happening at a rate I can not believe.

But in the slow realization that with all my hard work I might finally make it, a big accomplishment for me, I was once again knocked out by the news of what I thought could never happen. The death of my fifth crew mate and Third Mayhem Brother, Nekst, and only a few days before Christmas  This is news I hopped to never again hear, let alone at this time of the year which is already hard to not eat a bullet during.

Over the years my and Nekst like a lot of crew members have gone in different directions. I was hurt to see him stop pushing mayhem and push other crews, but this is something that happens. People grow apart, and grow closer to others, and you push the crews of who you roll with the most. This doesn't in anyway take away the years we spent together, the good times, the bad times, the down right out of our mind times.

Nekst was one of a kind in a world of one of a kind people. He stood out in a crowd of people that all stand out. He was one of the tuffest humans I have ever met and one of the craziest I have ever met. I don't know what to say but if you met him, you knew. That look in his eye where you didn't know weather to laugh or run, like the look in a sharks eye. He was a maniac that did spots that others couldn't even talk about. And did them in a size and style others couldn't pull off on a legal wall.

If you were lucky enough to know him, you were lucky. I feel that about everyone I know. But its time we learn a lesson about all these deaths. Life is short, real short. Especially what we do. Stupid simple misunderstandings lead to life long grudges and its bullshit. Its time we all realize that "live fast die young" and "yolo" is a great caption to write on a clean, but not a cool way to die.

If my five friends were still alive, this life, this game wouldn't even look the same. We don't need to loose anymore. I have been down the road of doing all the drugs just to do them. Driving cause I was the drunkest one. And I stopped it before I killed someone or myself. You don't have to die to be a legend  I hope all my fallen brothers are resting in peace, or at least hanging together.

I made it through everything I have made it through for a reason, and I am gonna do something with the life I have left. Something big. Don't worry it's coming. But right now, Rest in Peace Nace, Sace, Tues, Oil, and Nekst. Plus all of your homeboys. RIP is so last year. Lets try to do 2013 together and alive.

Use this time to get on Facebook, Instagram, where ever you can and pay your respects. These people all deserve it. And to the families of all those, I am so sorry, words can't even begin to describe. But your son's where the hero's and rock-stars of a world that you just can't understand. The things they did that you used to yell at us about, that's what is causing hundreds if not thousands to spend Christmas crying. Your sons really did something. Illegal or not. That's no longer this issue. They were kings in a world the created. The were stand up men in a world of people sitting down. They really did things that changed peoples lives. They changed my life.